Where to Live after Divorce
One of the first major decisions is where to live after the divorce. The challenge with this point is there are a lot of variables in terms of the details of this decision. For example, you will need to decide who gets the house in a divorce. If you have the option of staying in […]
Asking Questions
Just think through if you want to ask any questions beyond what you need to know about your children. This is a personal choice in terms of the type of relationship you want to have or are able to have with your ex-husband.
Create A Home Base
What this actually means is that you define which home your children will go to every day after school and where they will spend the majority of their days during the summer. The reason this can be helpful is that it provides consistency for the children on a daily basis…as well as for their friends…to […]
Consistent Messaging
It is important to stay consistent with the messaging you are communicating and not to change the messaging just because you are having a bad day. The messaging does not need to be extensive…it just needs to be consistent.
Gift Giving
There will be several times during the year when you will need to think through how you want to handle helping your children pick out and pay for gifts for their father (for Father’s Day, birthday, and holiday gifts). The most important point is to help your children feel good about how they are recognizing […]
Co-Parenting
The goal as you are going through your divorce is to try to continue a co-parenting relationship with your ex-husband that focuses on your children…as you will be co-parenting with him for years to come. One important point in terms of co-parenting is to always try to back each other up…when it comes to decisions […]
Think Through Trade-Offs
The important thing is for you to get clear on what you are willing to trade off…what you want to fight for…and the things that do not matter to you at all. The clarity you have on these points will have implications on your life and your children’s lives.
Pictures of the Ex-Husband
After the divorce, it can be hard to decide what to do with pictures. Give this some thought, as displaying pictures of the ex can definitely provide a positive signal to your children that even though you are divorced, your ex-husband is still their father. Having a photo of him in your children’s rooms can […]
Creating Two Homes
Wherever your children are staying should feel like their home. If there is way to have familiar family mementos at both homes (e.g. family photos or children’s artwork) at both locations, it helps each house to truly feel like “home” for your children.
Build Your Support Network
Identify friends and family who can help you along the way. They will be a helpful sounding board as you think about the details involved in navigating the process.